As some of you previously read I was trying to cut out my reliance on coffee. Yes I can cut it out and even started to feel okay, but it turns out that I do not get anything done during the day without it. It may have taken an entire hour off of my morning routine, but was not worth my lack of productivity. two weeks away did reset my tolerance a little bit though. Ultimately I wanted to go cold turkey, but clearly that was not going to work at this point in time.
The worst part of no coffee was my productivity levels… as you probably noticed I have not posted more than one blog post during this entire time. I think it’s time I tried to shift my focus onto my next novel and only posted for you guys once or twice a week. I feel fairly indifferent towards my blog right now and need to go focus on something bigger until this passes. If nothing else right now I need to go back to turning coffee into books and not just doing occupational therapy all day. One day I managed to write for most of a day, but out of a couple of weeks a single day is nothing. haha
Today I finally broke the coffee fast and not only did I write a blog post but I wrote over a thousand words of my current project. Apparently without coffee my daily routine is completely broken haha. Looks like I will be going back to a pot of coffee a day if I want to meet my personal first draft deadline. I think this experiment proved that some things just aren’t meant to be changed.
Yesterday evening after spending a day planning out some S.MA.R.T. goals for the next couple years that I have totally turned into one of those adults that can’t take a vacation. So far I’m continuing to just try to write which is failing because I have too much on my mind. On the up side It has been raining a bit here and it seems to have washed away most of the sand and gravel off the roads so I’m hoping to start running again tomorrow. As soon as spring hits I start sleeping less as my brain realizes that the anniversaries of quite a few deaths are coming up. I’m glad that all of this hits only a couple of weeks before I can run because physical activity is the only good distraction and release.
Despite all the reminders and the lack of sleep I am still having more good days than bad, which came as a surprise. It is a little inconvenient to only be able to concentrate on the most random unnecessary things though. While basically on vacation is not the most ideal thing to be doing, really brain I feel like there are allowed to be weeks where I don’t need to be planning my life out. It’s a downfall of being one of those people who rarely does anything spontaneous, Unless I’m with my closest friends.
Warning: Rant Post
I am either on the cusp of losing my cool or the cusp of a new idea or revelation… I think I am leaning towards the losing my cool side of things. Today while trying to work on my book I got interrupted every half an hour all day by the same person… I’m a little frustrated if you couldn’t tell. I think that to try to work through some of this in a more productive manner I will end up going an adventure tomorrow that will start off at my favourite coffee shop after I take a bus down town.
oh and one quick question if you could tell that someone’s stereo is cranked because the windows were vibrating would you interrupt them or leave them alone throughout the day?
Quite honestly I dread days like today, thankfully I don’t have many of them this far into my recovery. Nothing started out or went as planned.From waking up too early to having the most stubborn hand in quite possibly world, Pretty much everything today except lifting weights resulted in tears. Today I was definitly more of a 5/10 instead of the normal 10/10. It was still a half decent day despite not really acomplishing anything.
I was awake really early today so with an extra two hours I started the day off with weights. Sleep loss is a prime way to start the day off in a bitchy mood so I tried using my number one method to fix it. I was bitchy enough to put 200% effort and lift the weights I used to before the stroke the whole time, with no upper body pain I feel like I should have lifted a little heavier than I did. I felt great just being able to lift my old weight without any extreme messures or much effort. I may have even been fairly impressed.
After that my hand refused to do almost anything, Wouldn’t cooperate when I made breakfast, or while trying to do some occupational exercises, or while trying to play any guitar chords. It was very frustrating to say the least, It resulted in lots of foul language some swearing at my stroke affected side and a metaphoric bucket full of tears. Days like today are the worst and most frusterating especially at almost three years into my recovery. It also doesn’t help that normally I’m a perfectionist and an over achiever so on days like today I get a little beat up over it. Bad days like today are a reminder that I’m still recovering and that from time to time I need to just sit back and relax.