Successful VS. Fulfilling

As you probably already know everyone is looking for something in life. Some are looking for love, fame or success, But I am just looking for fulfillment. if you’re looking for success you are going to constantly the opinions of others and their judgements toward you, whereas a fulfilling life comes from within by meeting your own standards and expectations. I’m sorry, but none of my goals in life need to be approved or applauded by anyone other than myself. If you are happy and not causing anyone any harm why would anyone else’s opinion matter.

With social media it seems that we have come to a point where most people are posting play by plays of their life silently begging for their friends’ approval. Some of you may even remember a time in our lives before social media where nobody knew when you were doing anything unless you had called someone and made plans with them. Nobody knew when you were getting ice cream or going to the gym and back then it did not affect their day.

I know it might take a miracle, but I would love to see a higher percentage of people in the world in search of fulfillment instead of success.  People seem to have forgotten that you yourself are the only person that will truly understand your great accomplishments. Nobody has experienced the same things as you so it is virtually impossible for them to understand why your goals are what they are. With that alone you should stop letting other people determine how well you live your life and start judging your accomplishments yourself.

Get out there, fulfill your soul’s needs and be happy.

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One Step At A Time


No matter the task at hand if it ever feels like a daunting weight on your shoulders just remember to take things one step at a time. Honestly you could be struggling with anything from mental health to figuring what you need to do to land that job that you have always dreamed of or even a combination of multiple things. It doesn’t make a difference what stage you are at in life there will always be something going on that you need to push through and get to the other side.

On a daily basis I have to remind myself one step at a time because I have to focus the next few or several years on retraining my hand to work like it used to so that I can pursue my next goal. To me spending my days doing retraining of my hand and re-wiring some crossed pathways is usually frustrating and at the end if the day does not seem like I’m taking steps forward but every once in a while I notice a difference that makes it worth it. I have to remind myself all the time that one day these countless hours will be worth it and I will be chasing the next dream.

Whenever you get overwhelmed by that bigger picture. Take a step back for a minute and think about the next one or two smaller steps you need to complete to get closer to the end goal. Focusing on your smaller yet just as equal successes along the way is important. Without taking the smaller steps along the way you wont reach the bigger goal i promise. Celebrate the little wins even if that’s just doing something for yourself or some well deserved self-care. In this world everyone is watching for your mistakes not your successes and that’s why you have to celebrate them yourself.

check out the other iarts of this collaberation at:

Tajwar Fatma https://lifeaswehaveneverknownit.wordpress.com/

Jane Love http://www.harmoniousjoy.com/

Jothish Joseph https://jothishjoseph.wordpress.com/

Barb Caffrey https://elfyverse.wordpress.com/

Nicolle K https://storiesofahsi.wordpress.com/

Ajibola Sunday https://ajibolasunday.wordpress.com/

Sonyo Estavillo https://lilpickmeup.com/

Mylene Orillo https://myleneorillo.com/

Camilla Motte http://www.momsonthego.com/

Manal Ahmad https://thatgirl196.wordpress.com/

Ipuna Black https://ipunablack.com/

Sadaf Siddiqi https://sadafsiddiqi.wordpress.com/

Divyang Shah https://ithinkmyway.wordpress.com/about/

Finding Strength

One never really knows how strong they are until you have no other choice. I believe that strength comes from within, yes we all have some sort of support through trying times, but the ability to keep pushing forward and not giving up comes from you. Personally I have been through two detrimental events that truly set the bar for the stronger person I am today. These two events were the stroke and losing one of the most important people in my life. I doubt that anything else will ever compare in difficulty and at times am still amazed that I got through the worst of it. Yet on top of this adversity made me the strongest.

I am so thankful that I grew up being different and being the kid that was more of a lone wolf than anything else. Yes being the outcast in school made things a little more difficult at times, but I think it made me stronger. I enjoyed being the nerd that did homework at recess and lunch so that I had less to take home at night. I was like that from grade school up into college, but in college us nerds got together during spares and all wrote papers and studied like big nerds. This I’d one of those situations where being very focused on the end goal and not having much of a desire to socialize came into play.

If nothing else losing someone very close to me taught me to function with a piece of my heart and soul missing and still conquer each task at hand. Grief is a roller coaster just as everyone says, you never know when it will hit and it can be one heck of a ride. To this day I’m surprised that I got through the worst of it.

Most people I encounter pity me when they find out in still recovering from my stroke 3.5 years later. Flat out I wouldn’t be able to see the light in each situation and have more good days than bad if the stroke and major loss had not happened in the sane year. It is also due to both these events that I understand people who say,” you have to know the darkness to see the light”. It took me years to understand what they meant but I never would have believed it without the events of 2014. With the bad comes the good, make sure to remember this through the tougher chapters of life.

Tajwar Fatma https://lifeaswehaveneverknownit.wordpress.com/

Ipuna Black  https://ipunablack.com/

Jane Love http://www.harmoniousjoy.com/

Jothish Joseph https://jothishjoseph.wordpress.com/

Barb Caffrey https://elfyverse.wordpress.com/

Nicolle K https://storiesofahsi.wordpress.com/

Ajibola Sunday https://ajibolasunday.wordpress.com/

Sonyo Estavillo  https://lilpickmeup.com/

Mylene Orillo https://myleneorillo.com/

Camilla Motte http://www.momsonthego.com/

Staying Motivated

If you have large goals that are going to take years to achieve it can be very easy to get deflated and feel like you aren’t making any progress. Personally I prefer to have a rough ten-year plan with steps I need to achieve each year to meet all the goals  on time. In most cases I get distracted by trying to complete all the smaller steps that I lose track of time and forget about how far away the final goal is. Most People call these S.M.A.R.T. goals, but I prefer to call them my tada list.

I call these my Tada lists because after I print it up and format it into a list with ticky boxes, when I cross things out I shout tada. Not only do sound effects make everything better, but having that check mark beside each thing as I go through the list is visually rewarding, but yes I realize how much of a nerd/dork I am and I have no shame in it whatsoever. I’m one of those people who needs to see that things are getting done, so this method works wonders for me.

The second biggest part of me staying motivated is truly making my goals a priority and making an effort to slowly chip away at them each day. I say try because I know that some days life just gets in the way and I do not have the time or the energy to work on the next thing on the list. Then there are those days where the desire to roll out of bed is nonexistent, this has gotten worse since I switched from a spring bed to a memory foam mattress haha. Those days I have myself half an hour to an hour to get it together and start the day, because laying in bed all day solves nothing.

Don’t Forget To Have Fun

While it is important to set goals and achieve them in a timely matter it is super important to not be working on said goals and have fun. This weekend o actually took a thirty-six hour period of chilling where I wasn’t allowed to work on the next book or the blog and it was amazing. This can be difficult when you’re a goal driven workaholic like me, but yet so worth it. The best part was being able to catch up with a friend I haven’t seen very much of over the last few years.

When I say don’t forget to have fun I really mean take time away from your goals and do things that make you feel good. This could be anything from a hobby to quality time with friends or family. Usually I default to a hobby due to being extra introverted in my downtime. I like being able to recharge on my own, usually just so that I can get back to those goals. I can say that this time around kicking back and catching up with an old friend was just what I needed. I’m very fortunate to have a handful of friends here that no matter how long we go without seeing each other nothing really changes.

I forget to have fun or take time for myself all the time. I guess I’m sort of masochistic by intentionally stressing myself out to get to that strung out super productive state. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I can be pretty tightly wound at times haha. I’m trying to get into a routine of taking a day or two a week for myself and this is proving to be quite difficult. I will also admit that I’m thoroughly enjoying having a day or two each week to do whatever I desire. The last two weeks I got a little more artistic on my days off combining art with hand therapy and it was awesome.

Learn To Live In The Moment

We are raised to focus on the future so it can be difficult to stop looking ahead and focus on the present. Yes you may not be where you thought you would be or want to be, but remember all the things you do have. When we are stuck focussing on the future it is much easier to see all the things do not have yet wish you did. It can be difficult to switch to a mindset of living in the moment, but things could look a little brighter for you if you do.

If you never pause to observe and appreciate the present you will never see what you have accomplished or all the things you have to be thankful for. I fully understand how frustrating it can be when you are not where you expected yourself to be. Right now I could almost be finished my college diploma if I had not dropped out because I did not want a career in my major. If I look at this from the present moment instead of focusing on the future it’s clear that I I’m taking steps to go back to school when the time is right.

Focused on the present I am thankful for everything I have and everything I have and that I am exactly where I am in life. If any experience had gone differently in the last three years my entire life could be very different, and I would not want that. Even If I had the chance I would not change a thing because my experiences made me who I am today and I’m content with that.

Paralysis: Beating The Odds