Self Acceptance and Self Love

Self acceptance and self-love in my opinion are more important than most realize. For example some people are so co dependent that they forget to be their own whole and unique person. Then again growing up as an only child I learned how to entertain myself without the help of anyone else. I have also watched people who grow into these false realities because they never accepted who they were as a person and in their forties do not understand why they are completely and utterly miserable with every aspect of their lives.

Growing up without siblings there is an abundance of self-reflection time. Let me tell you sooner or later that leads one into a path of is this who I really am or is that. This also lead to having full-out debates with myself out loud arguing both sides of the topic from time to time and still to this day. If Being an only child ever came with a benefit it was that I always had to be okay with who I was growing up because most of the time it was just me. People always pity us only children for not having that sibling bond, but I see now as an adult that there are some unfair advantages such as: enjoying alone time, more independence, and often growing up as your own person instead of in someone else’s shadow.

I have known in my heart who I was as a person since I was just five years old so I guess self acceptance has always been a part of my life even when I hid it from the outside world. Once you accept and embrace who you really are as a person I guarantee the right people and the right opportunities in life will begin to show up. Yes certain people will also probably walk out on you, but don’t worry they weren’t supposed to be there anyway.

Check out the other collaboration pieces at the blogs below:

Ajibola Sunday

Barb Caffrey

Camilla Motte

Divyang Shah

Ipuna Black

Jane Love

Joel A. Scott

Jothish Joseph

Manal Ahmad

Mylene Orillo

Nicolle K

Sadaf Siddiqi

Sonyo Estavillo

Tajwar Fatma


Successful VS. Fulfilling

As you probably already know everyone is looking for something in life. Some are looking for love, fame or success, But I am just looking for fulfillment. if you’re looking for success you are going to constantly the opinions of others and their judgements toward you, whereas a fulfilling life comes from within by meeting your own standards and expectations. I’m sorry, but none of my goals in life need to be approved or applauded by anyone other than myself. If you are happy and not causing anyone any harm why would anyone else’s opinion matter.

With social media it seems that we have come to a point where most people are posting play by plays of their life silently begging for their friends’ approval. Some of you may even remember a time in our lives before social media where nobody knew when you were doing anything unless you had called someone and made plans with them. Nobody knew when you were getting ice cream or going to the gym and back then it did not affect their day.

I know it might take a miracle, but I would love to see a higher percentage of people in the world in search of fulfillment instead of success.  People seem to have forgotten that you yourself are the only person that will truly understand your great accomplishments. Nobody has experienced the same things as you so it is virtually impossible for them to understand why your goals are what they are. With that alone you should stop letting other people determine how well you live your life and start judging your accomplishments yourself.

Get out there, fulfill your soul’s needs and be happy.

In Times of Change 

In times of change we each react in our own way. Some of us hate change while others embrace it, at the end of the day you have to do what works best for you. Growing up I was never that fond of change, but as the years have passed and I’ve overcome certain obstacles I’ve become a bit more spontaneous.

The old me used to need everything planned down to the minute and things needed to always go to plan. Compared to now where an hours notice is just generally appreciated. There’s no more weekly plan or schedule, at least while I’m taking classes. Now I mostly just listen to my body in trying to improve my physical recovery and take it one moment at a time. Sometimes this means having a great week of physio and occupational and taking the weekend to burn out and sleep for almost an entire day. The focus lately has been trying to find ways to better incorporate using my recovering hand into everyday life. One would think that I’d be a pro at this by now, but believe me every day comes with its own set of struggles.

I’m glad that I am no longer afraid of change as I became more open to opportunities that can come along. Despite being more open to change I have become a little more distant while I process and adjust to changes in life. This usually concerns people, but I have always done my best pondering alone. While working things out with myself depending on the size of the changes I can withdraw from my normal social activities for months at a time. I try not to distance myself from friends during these times, but at these times I usually end up falling off the fave of the earth for a couple or a few months that get back into things full swing like nothing ever happened.

From time to time I even have moments where I’m “ride or die” about any big decision that I may face. While these times come with good adventure and stories to tell this was a major change from me even just four years ago. When not being spontaneous I do a quick pro and con list in my head to see if said thing will move me closer to my goals or further away and go from there.

How do you handle or deal with change?

PT And OT: Keeping It Relevant

When it comes to retraining your body to move and function as it should you need to remember to keep the activities you use for therapy relevant. Just as my original team stated,” you need to get back to the things you used to do to see the best recovery results”. Instead of focusing on the same activities chimpanzees in labs have to do start using your hobbies to your advantage. Playing with blocks and tongs is not going to help very much, I’m sorry. It is for this reason that I have been making an attempt at Painting with the hand/side that was originally paralyzed.

It has been an eye-opening experience to say the least. It turns out that if i want to paint anything in a minimalistic style I should just use my affected side. I haven’t been doing much for writing, but there has been a decent amount of retraining lately. I have always been artistic so this is probably one of the best ways for me to fine tune my fine motor skills in that hand over the next several years.

I present to you: Welcome to The Darkness

Make Peace With The Past

No matter your background or you come from we all have a part or parts of our journey we are not proud of. Instead of dwelling on the past and wishing you had done something differently accept that the past is the past and try to make sure you do not end up there again. I promise that no matter how much you think about it you won’t change anything so chin up and keep moving forward. Try to remember that those rough patches likely helped shape you into the stronger person you are today. If you don’t like who you are today start taking steps towards being the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

Focusing on your past is just as bad as focusing on the future without being able to see the present moment for its entirety. I guess between having a stroke and losing my best friend within the same year taught me that nothing is guaranteed. Personally certain things in the past just make me sad and that’s enough of a reason to focus on the present with a relatively positive outlook. Life happens and then it either breaks us or changes us. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, if something happens more than once you obviously didn’t learn the lesson. That being said everyone you meet comes into your life for a reason, not everyone is going to be a blessing. Some people only come into your lives to treat you a lesson.

If you continue to dwell on the past instead of reflecting, assessing and moving on you are not giving yourself a chance. Instead of chaining yourself to the past and any mistakes or situations let yourself move forward. Give yourself a chance to change and move forward maybe even building something better. You may not think you deserve it, but you are also the only one setting limits on yourself from making the future better for yourself.

Modify Your Perspective

If you do not like something change it, and if you cannot change it modify your views of it. Yes this can be difficult, but being able to see things from another perspective is a great skill to have in today’s day and age. For example: back when I pretended to be a social being I really hated Mondays, but now that I’ve given into my antisocial and introverted ways I love monday’s because everyone is grumpy and nobody wants to talk. Right there is proof that changing your perspective even just slightly can make a bog difference in how you see the world around us.

Instead of always seeing the negative in a situation try to find one or two positive things or angles in each. I promise that only after a short while you will begin to see the world and the people around you in a brighter light than you did before. Like If you live somewhere where it’s generally only warm about five months of the year, don’t complain about it because it will be cold and snowy like a disturbing winter wonderland in no time. If you enjoy that heat don’t complain on the rainy days because they save you from having to water and everything gets a little more luscious.

Instead of seeing someone as dumb or unintelligent because they are not good at the same things as you, start seeing them for what they are good at. None of us are good at the same things so stop focussing on what they are  bad at and try to see what they excel in. Everyone is good at least one thing start appreciating them for it.

Don’t Forget To Have Fun

While it is important to set goals and achieve them in a timely matter it is super important to not be working on said goals and have fun. This weekend o actually took a thirty-six hour period of chilling where I wasn’t allowed to work on the next book or the blog and it was amazing. This can be difficult when you’re a goal driven workaholic like me, but yet so worth it. The best part was being able to catch up with a friend I haven’t seen very much of over the last few years.

When I say don’t forget to have fun I really mean take time away from your goals and do things that make you feel good. This could be anything from a hobby to quality time with friends or family. Usually I default to a hobby due to being extra introverted in my downtime. I like being able to recharge on my own, usually just so that I can get back to those goals. I can say that this time around kicking back and catching up with an old friend was just what I needed. I’m very fortunate to have a handful of friends here that no matter how long we go without seeing each other nothing really changes.

I forget to have fun or take time for myself all the time. I guess I’m sort of masochistic by intentionally stressing myself out to get to that strung out super productive state. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I can be pretty tightly wound at times haha. I’m trying to get into a routine of taking a day or two a week for myself and this is proving to be quite difficult. I will also admit that I’m thoroughly enjoying having a day or two each week to do whatever I desire. The last two weeks I got a little more artistic on my days off combining art with hand therapy and it was awesome.