Find Your Happy 

If you’ve been around for any length of time you probably understand that life happens and when it does you can lose your happiness among many other things. Lately I have been trying to find the abundance of happiness and joy that used to flow through me like blood. I’m sorry I haven’t been writing that much, but at the sane time I am not because I am trying to get back to my happy.

It was not until after I was done my book that I had realized that I lost the what was once contagious joy and happiness that radiated from me even through times of pain and sorrow. If you have been following my blog for a while you probably noticed that once the book was done my posting frequency dissipated.

A big part of writing my book was acknowledging all the things I had avoided dealing with during that time frame as my recovery was enough at the time I did not have the time or the energy to tackle anything else other than day-to-day life. Now into the better half of my recovery there has been a lot of reflection and time to accept, feel, and work through all those other things. Most days it’s at least a few hours of occupational/ physio exercises but after that I could spend a couple of hours staring at a wall while I do hand strengthening exercises. Over the last few months there has been a lot of healing so all that wall staring must be a good thing haha. I do not know that I’m ready to dive into my next book and set a deadline for it, but I am slowly getting back into writing.

No matter what life throws at you as you trek through your various journeys remember that you are not alone and that if need be you can modify the path to your goals to better suit your needs. It Is not how fast you make the journey, but the fact that you did it. Who cares if you reach your goal in two years or five years, the chances of you getting a prize for reaching the goal in a shorter period of time are slim unless you’re an Olympian.


PT And OT: Keeping It Relevant

When it comes to retraining your body to move and function as it should you need to remember to keep the activities you use for therapy relevant. Just as my original team stated,” you need to get back to the things you used to do to see the best recovery results”. Instead of focusing on the same activities chimpanzees in labs have to do start using your hobbies to your advantage. Playing with blocks and tongs is not going to help very much, I’m sorry. It is for this reason that I have been making an attempt at Painting with the hand/side that was originally paralyzed.

It has been an eye-opening experience to say the least. It turns out that if i want to paint anything in a minimalistic style I should just use my affected side. I haven’t been doing much for writing, but there has been a decent amount of retraining lately. I have always been artistic so this is probably one of the best ways for me to fine tune my fine motor skills in that hand over the next several years.

I present to you: Welcome to The Darkness

Month 40 In Recovery

For the first time  in some while I seem to have plateaued a bit and that’s okay. Yes I am not progressing as much as I would like to be, but I have been fairly lazy lately. I am still seeing progress it’s just within fine motor skills so it is generally less obvious. For example unless my hand locks up  typing and writing are becoming a lot easier.

This month I did not notice much if any improvement in regards to my visual field, but I don’t mind because that also means that there were significantly less migraines. With publication and a handful of social events this past month I have been both extremely busy and in all downtime completely preoccupied. It was odd not having the time to focus on therapy as  much as  I would have liked. This was definitely a result of my choices so I know if I want to speed things back up I will have to refocus and get to work. I imagine that I will catch up where I fell behind over the next couple months at most.

This month despite not being active in a gym setting, I managed to walk an average of seven kilometers a day which has helped me improve my gait. I cannot believe that I have almost been home for eleven months now and am just starting to adjust to  being here haha. I think it’s about time I got back into fit mode and started training in either running or pole fitness again or maybe something completely new.

Month 39 in recovery

This month in recovery has definitely been one of the most rewarding this year so far.  There’s been enough of an increase in my dexterity that I’ve been able to type with month hands more often than the speedy one-handed typing I’m used to. It has probably helped a lot that I have been house sitting for sixteen days now and have literally no internal or external stressors.

This months entire focus was to wake up each day and do what I need to do to work toward my life and physical goals and it was quite successful. After figuring out what I wanted from my second book I started it and am starting to love it. Then from a physical aspect even though I only saw progress in my affected hand, I feel energized and great for the first time in years. I plan on kicking some more recovery butt next month.



The Staycation Continues

I’m onto house two for the last eleven days of my three weeks alone and I’ve started taking care of myself again. From relaxing in the dry sauna before my nightly meditations to my first run of the season indoor, It was only three miles this morning, But I feel amazing and I’m really glad I ordered pizza and carbed up the night before.

Normally I would not suggest taking an entire season off but taking January to now off to let my body catch up in my recovery was great, running at a 6 mile an hour pace for half an hour on a treadmill was so easy, so apparently I needed the break. I’m amazed and proud because only once before today had I successfully run without any aid not even sports tape. Spring is here and My body is ready to get back down to 8-10% body fat. First run of the season was a breeze and I can’t wait to go for my evening run which may or may not be outside now that I’m close to trails and side walks.

I hope you are all having a great week,


Months 37 and 38 in Recvery

I’m really excited to start by staying these are the first two months not mentioned in my book. Each day I am welcome with small, but noticeable differences. For the most part What I see everyday is the normalization of movements. I’ve also learned that the more miniscule improvements have turned me into an extremely emotional crier. Up until the three-year mark in my recovery this had never happened before.

Apparently I just can’t contain my emotions in regards to my recovery anymore. If it has anything to remotely do with my recovering side no matter the emotion I cry. It can be anything from frustration to excitement or happiness no matter what tears will be shed. Thankfully to my advantage I’m usually alone when this happens, but there were a few times where I couldn’t hold it back while out with friends and I got to experience the pure awkwardness. One of the most comical moments in this period was the day I opened a sealed glass jar with my affected hand and after jumping for joy in my kitchen as I didn’t know I had regained that much grip strength, I cried out of excitement. I’m not sure how I feel about all my daily crying, but I think I’m going to take it at face value and assume my body is just trying to deal with my emotions instead of bottling them up.

I’ve started to more regularly and more automatically do every day activities with my affected side and it has increased my dexterity immensely. Instead of one handed everything I can more accurately say that I get to do everything one and a half handed which is a bit of an understatement.DUring this time I also noticed that during my solo dance parties I am dancing with the full rand and movement of my entire body again. Honestly I don’t think that has happened since my last performance on stage three and a half years ago so to say that I’m impressed would be an understatement.