Notice how the title is not do what makes others happy? This is because despite what you may think you cannot control how others feel about any given thing. genuine happiness generally comes from within so you should be focusing on doing the things that make you happy. Note that the things that bring you happiness also may change as you grow and develop as a person. You also may be thinking that this sounds a little selfish, but taking care of your own needs is an important thing we should all be doing.
Nothing is less satisfying than doing something to meet someone else’s expectations or standards of you. As Someone who tried to meet someone’s expectations of me for many years nothing feels better than just doing things to reach my goals and make myself happy. This was another way having half my body paralyzed positively benefited my life. I had to change my focus from making everyone else happy to focusing on my needs. I do not doubt that if it had not happened I would still not be a priority in my own life.
No matter the medium throughout my entire life art has always been one of those things that centers me and brings me to my happy place. That being said art has been my biggest focus during my latest writing hiatus. Whether it’s drawing, or something else It’s one of those versatile things that I can also use to retrain my affected hand. It is nice to be able to hit two birds with one stone yet again. Side note: I’m sorry I have been absent as of late I haven’t been able to make the words work so I’m taking a break.
Instead of constantly looking for someone or something to complete you, become the person you need to be to complete yourself. You also need to realize that happiness comes from within so you should stop looking for it in external sources. If you are not happy with something in your live take corrective action instead of projecting it onto someone else to fix it.
once you learn to find your happiness within instead of relying on other things to make you happy, you will have more happiness than you ever got from any previous external source. It can be quite the process to find that internal happiness and a whole lot of soul-searching, but once you do you’ll have more of it than ever imagined. For me it was like finding the holy grail of happiness with the ability to turn it on and off like a light switch.
If you think that finding love with fix your long-term unhappiness, you are wrong. It will likely add more unneccessary problems and cause countless issues if you are projecting it onto them. Instead of looking for love, find your happiness first and love will come find you.
No matter what your goals are or how near or far you are to reaching them. I promise that no matter what If you are working towards those goals you will meet them eventually. Yes I also know what it is like to be frustrated that you aren’t where you expected to be at whatever stage in your goal. We need to learn to just take things one day at a time and accept that some things are out of our control. I can guarantee you that life will do what it can to get in the way of your goals and you just have to keep pushing through.
Never in my life had I imagined that I would be where I’m at today, and I’m not going to lie on more than one occasion I have been really angry at myself for not matching where I expected myself to be. I had to learn to just accept that some things are out of our control like healing from a stroke and how that put the entire life plan three years behind schedule. In the end I am super grateful for how my cards have played out I would not have it any other way.
If you really want to live an unconditionally happy and peaceful life start to live in the moment with no concerns about the past or the future. Just focus on the present moment that you are living in with a can do attitude knowing that everything will work out in the end.
If you want to achieve complete happiness one of the things you are going to have to do is care less. By this I mean stop putting so much thought into the things that do not matter. Figuring out what does and does not matter in your life can be a daunting task as well as confusing and timely. When I started the process of cutting out the things that don’t matter it took about a year of continuous revisions before I was free of all the unnecessary crap.
I am not going to lie I found the process difficult myself, but I started off with stopping all the things I was doing to “maintain face”. You know the events and social outings you have no interest or get no value out of, but you are expected to go to by friends or acquaintances. Yeah stop going to those, yeah I don’t care if you get a formal invite or one of those sill Facebook event invites just politely decline if you have no interest in going.
The next big step for me was cutting off contact from the acquaintances and childhood friends I didn’t even like back when I was in grade school. The ones where you have nothing in common, you’ve always pretended to like, and you honestly don’t care at all when they hit you up to talk about how great their lives are. Not only are they a waste of time, but depending on how you connected in the past encounters with these people can be quite emotionally draining.
For about a year I repeated these two steps up until now where I’m able to live a life of peace, happiness, and mindfulness. I hope your search and attempts to happiness take less time. 🙂
No matter your background or beliefs in a world that is full of turmoil and chaos among so many othe things one needs to have a happy place they can go to. For me I have found over the years that two things can get me to that happy place where I forget about the world around me and just exist for a bit. These two things are running and meditation. Given that I don’t especially love running indoors and libing in a place that has winter for three to five months a year I needed something else.
I love running for many reasons such as, the endorphin release, the complete tranquility, and being able to completely sort my thoughts. Right now I’m waiting for the roads to be clear of snow so I can get back out there and start running in the mornings again even just a few kilometers before I have to start my day. It is a fantastic feeling being able to sort out your feelings and thoughts before starting the day so that I have a clear and fresh mind. Being a writer and a creator of a few different mediums there are always more ideas than one can actually process at once so I tend to run when I can.
It was last fall after realizing that I had not dealt with any of the trauma I had been through since the stroke including one of my childhood friends being murdered that I started meditating again. After I saw how horrible the world could really be I needed to find amother source of peace or I probably wouldn’t have made it through some darker times. When I maintain a routine of meditating for at least an hour a day it is almost as if I’m in my own happiness bubble where I notice everything that happens, but I’m pretty unaffected by whatever goes on unless it directly affects me. Best of all meditation has majorly reduced my anxiety and depression at the same time.