Jainey_Nessa Blogging Awards

Thank you Jane from http://www.Harmoniousjoy.com For the very generous awards nominations this year I am beyond honoured to receive both of these blogging awards. Honestly I do not really know what to say, when I got word of the nominations I was actually ready to put my pen down for good, I feel like I’m probably not allowed to do that now.

Again thank you Jane for the nomination.

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Self Acceptance and Self Love

Self acceptance and self-love in my opinion are more important than most realize. For example some people are so co dependent that they forget to be their own whole and unique person. Then again growing up as an only child I learned how to entertain myself without the help of anyone else. I have also watched people who grow into these false realities because they never accepted who they were as a person and in their forties do not understand why they are completely and utterly miserable with every aspect of their lives.

Growing up without siblings there is an abundance of self-reflection time. Let me tell you sooner or later that leads one into a path of is this who I really am or is that. This also lead to having full-out debates with myself out loud arguing both sides of the topic from time to time and still to this day. If Being an only child ever came with a benefit it was that I always had to be okay with who I was growing up because most of the time it was just me. People always pity us only children for not having that sibling bond, but I see now as an adult that there are some unfair advantages such as: enjoying alone time, more independence, and often growing up as your own person instead of in someone else’s shadow.

I have known in my heart who I was as a person since I was just five years old so I guess self acceptance has always been a part of my life even when I hid it from the outside world. Once you accept and embrace who you really are as a person I guarantee the right people and the right opportunities in life will begin to show up. Yes certain people will also probably walk out on you, but don’t worry they weren’t supposed to be there anyway.

Check out the other collaboration pieces at the blogs below:

Ajibola Sunday https://ajibolasunday.wordpress.com/

Barb Caffrey https://elfyverse.wordpress.com/

Camilla Motte http://www.momsonthego.com/

Divyang Shah https://ithinkmyway.wordpress.com/about/

Ipuna Black https://ipunablack.com/

Jane Love http://www.harmoniousjoy.com/

Joel A. Scott http://www.joelascott.com/blog/

Jothish Joseph https://jothishjoseph.wordpress.com/

Manal Ahmad https://thatgirl196.wordpress.com/

Mylene Orillo https://myleneorillo.com/

Nicolle K https://storiesofahsi.wordpress.com/

Sadaf Siddiqi https://sadafsiddiqi.wordpress.com/

Sonyo Estavillo https://lilpickmeup.com/

Tajwar Fatma https://lifeaswehaveneverknownit.wordpress.com/

Successful VS. Fulfilling

As you probably already know everyone is looking for something in life. Some are looking for love, fame or success, But I am just looking for fulfillment. if you’re looking for success you are going to constantly the opinions of others and their judgements toward you, whereas a fulfilling life comes from within by meeting your own standards and expectations. I’m sorry, but none of my goals in life need to be approved or applauded by anyone other than myself. If you are happy and not causing anyone any harm why would anyone else’s opinion matter.

With social media it seems that we have come to a point where most people are posting play by plays of their life silently begging for their friends’ approval. Some of you may even remember a time in our lives before social media where nobody knew when you were doing anything unless you had called someone and made plans with them. Nobody knew when you were getting ice cream or going to the gym and back then it did not affect their day.

I know it might take a miracle, but I would love to see a higher percentage of people in the world in search of fulfillment instead of success.  People seem to have forgotten that you yourself are the only person that will truly understand your great accomplishments. Nobody has experienced the same things as you so it is virtually impossible for them to understand why your goals are what they are. With that alone you should stop letting other people determine how well you live your life and start judging your accomplishments yourself.

Get out there, fulfill your soul’s needs and be happy.

In Times of Change 

In times of change we each react in our own way. Some of us hate change while others embrace it, at the end of the day you have to do what works best for you. Growing up I was never that fond of change, but as the years have passed and I’ve overcome certain obstacles I’ve become a bit more spontaneous.

The old me used to need everything planned down to the minute and things needed to always go to plan. Compared to now where an hours notice is just generally appreciated. There’s no more weekly plan or schedule, at least while I’m taking classes. Now I mostly just listen to my body in trying to improve my physical recovery and take it one moment at a time. Sometimes this means having a great week of physio and occupational and taking the weekend to burn out and sleep for almost an entire day. The focus lately has been trying to find ways to better incorporate using my recovering hand into everyday life. One would think that I’d be a pro at this by now, but believe me every day comes with its own set of struggles.

I’m glad that I am no longer afraid of change as I became more open to opportunities that can come along. Despite being more open to change I have become a little more distant while I process and adjust to changes in life. This usually concerns people, but I have always done my best pondering alone. While working things out with myself depending on the size of the changes I can withdraw from my normal social activities for months at a time. I try not to distance myself from friends during these times, but at these times I usually end up falling off the fave of the earth for a couple or a few months that get back into things full swing like nothing ever happened.

From time to time I even have moments where I’m “ride or die” about any big decision that I may face. While these times come with good adventure and stories to tell this was a major change from me even just four years ago. When not being spontaneous I do a quick pro and con list in my head to see if said thing will move me closer to my goals or further away and go from there.

How do you handle or deal with change?

One Step At A Time


No matter the task at hand if it ever feels like a daunting weight on your shoulders just remember to take things one step at a time. Honestly you could be struggling with anything from mental health to figuring what you need to do to land that job that you have always dreamed of or even a combination of multiple things. It doesn’t make a difference what stage you are at in life there will always be something going on that you need to push through and get to the other side.

On a daily basis I have to remind myself one step at a time because I have to focus the next few or several years on retraining my hand to work like it used to so that I can pursue my next goal. To me spending my days doing retraining of my hand and re-wiring some crossed pathways is usually frustrating and at the end if the day does not seem like I’m taking steps forward but every once in a while I notice a difference that makes it worth it. I have to remind myself all the time that one day these countless hours will be worth it and I will be chasing the next dream.

Whenever you get overwhelmed by that bigger picture. Take a step back for a minute and think about the next one or two smaller steps you need to complete to get closer to the end goal. Focusing on your smaller yet just as equal successes along the way is important. Without taking the smaller steps along the way you wont reach the bigger goal i promise. Celebrate the little wins even if that’s just doing something for yourself or some well deserved self-care. In this world everyone is watching for your mistakes not your successes and that’s why you have to celebrate them yourself.

check out the other iarts of this collaberation at:

Tajwar Fatma https://lifeaswehaveneverknownit.wordpress.com/

Jane Love http://www.harmoniousjoy.com/

Jothish Joseph https://jothishjoseph.wordpress.com/

Barb Caffrey https://elfyverse.wordpress.com/

Nicolle K https://storiesofahsi.wordpress.com/

Ajibola Sunday https://ajibolasunday.wordpress.com/

Sonyo Estavillo https://lilpickmeup.com/

Mylene Orillo https://myleneorillo.com/

Camilla Motte http://www.momsonthego.com/

Manal Ahmad https://thatgirl196.wordpress.com/

Ipuna Black https://ipunablack.com/

Sadaf Siddiqi https://sadafsiddiqi.wordpress.com/

Divyang Shah https://ithinkmyway.wordpress.com/about/

Alt. Ed. Vs. Mainstream

Being an alternate education graduate who has seen both sides of the education system I do not understand why there is so much stigma towards alternate education. In mainstream education everyone is set to learn material at the same pace and only in one way. Knowing that we all learn different ways and at different speeds I believe that it is complete B.S. that mainstream is still the Norm in today’s day. If I had not switched to alternate education before my stroke I would have been put an entire year behind once I had my stroke and that would have been really unfortunate.

My Alternate education program was essentially distance education held in a classroom where there was  a teacher and support staff if you needed help. For those who had jobs we were able to schedule school around work, which was really convenient for those who needed to work. Even taking a semester off of actual school work and working during my grade twelve year I finished school early and got to chill out for a couple of months before my convocation and exams. Yes I had to be internally motivated and figuratively kicked in the butt some days, but Alt. was definitely the way to go for me.

I have never needed someone to give a lesson out of the textbook for a course when I can literally read it word for word by myself. In most mainstream classes I finished the worksheets and assignments for the class while the teacher was giving the lesson while I pretended to follow along. I think it’s time we stopped treating mainstream as the norm and start normalizing alternate education because we all learn differently. If I had always been able to learn at my own pace I probably could have graduated a year or two early full of facts I would never use in adult life.

Lost In The Abyss of Life

Growing up in a city it is easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of things. It is also very easy to feel insignificant or unheard when you get stuck in a rut and nothing stops except you. You may not know this, but everything you do does make a difference to at least somebody whether that’s a friend, lover, or boss. When your lost look for your passion or values that should lead you to a viable option to move forward.

When you feel lost it can become quite easy to lose the motivation to do anything and start living without any intentions, which can result in aimlessly floating through each day.  his can also be a very difficult cycle to break after a while so try to stay out of it. I would suggest that one tries to set and achieve even just two things a day. These things could be anything from creative things or more professional related things it doesn’t matter. When I’m super lost and have no motivation to do anything I tend to make art and attempt to deal with anything that could prevent me from moving forward.

If you are really lost and have no clue what to do with life look for your passions. If you are unsure as to what you are passionate about start looking for the things that you have always  wanted to do in life or things you have thought about trying. If nothing else this should give you a good step in the right direction. If you find out your interests you should see a pattern that should lead you to an area or field of focus too.

Make each day count because you never know when what you have will be gone.