Chilling On The Sidelines 

Being an introvert I definitely prefer being alone, but I do still require a certain amount of human interaction. this is why instead of attending events with large groups of people to participate in them I help run parts of them. Its just easier to be on the sidelines where I have personal space than it is to be shoulder to shoulder in a crowd of people. it’s also the reason the only reason I go to craft fairs is to help grandma. I will go look around during the slower times,but if it’s busy I can happily  just sit there and people watch all day. thankfully we have been going to the same one for many years so I also know most of the vendors. 

For a few years before my stroke I didn’t know that I was introveted. I was involved in a type of theatre always out at events in the community always in loud crowded spaces never realizing why I was constantly drained 24/7. thankfully after the stroke all of this stopped and suddenly I felt at peace. yet another way that something I thought was tragic turned out to be a major blessing. from age fourteen to sixteen without even knowing it I was one of the biggest causes of my constantly feeling horrible. thanks to mindfulness and some soul searching I realized what I was doing to myself and who I was and I started to feel better instantly.

Even as a legal adult i can count he number of times ive gone out to a bar or club on one hand because it’s better for me to have a glass of wine over dinner with a friend than to go out get loaded and be drained for the next few days. Nomatter the mask you are wearing you have to remember that you are likily experiencing something different on the inside and you can’t ignore those things. TAKE care of yourself so that you aren’t constantly living on the edge of burnout. I lived on the edge of burnout for three years and there are few things I regret as much as that. Please if nothing else follow your soul/heart and do what it takes in a way you can to make yourself happy. 

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