Don’t Worry About Tomorrow

No matter what your goals are or how near or far you are to reaching them. I promise that no matter what If you are working towards those goals you will meet them eventually. Yes I also know what it is like to be frustrated that you aren’t where you expected to be at whatever stage in your goal. We need to learn to just take things one day at a time and accept that some things are out of our control. I can guarantee you that life will do what it can  to get in the way of your goals and you just have to keep pushing through.

Never in my life had I imagined that I would be where I’m at today, and I’m not going to lie on more than one occasion I have been really angry at myself for not matching where I expected myself to be. I had to learn to just accept that some things are out of our control like healing from a stroke and how that put the entire life plan three years behind schedule. In the end I am super grateful for how my cards have played out I would not have it any other way.

If you really want to live an unconditionally happy and peaceful life start to live in the moment with no concerns about the past or the future. Just focus on the present moment that you are living in with a can do attitude knowing that everything will work out in the end.

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Back to Reality 

Sigh… getting almost three weeks of mostly uninterrupted me time was fantastic. For the first time since before the stroke I actually feel like I’m ready to tackle all my goals and plans. Even though I was on Staycation I still managed to spend most of my time writing, which is totally okay with me. Other than when I went out all I heard was music and my own thoughts so that was nice. I’ve been back at my house for just a couple of days now and honestly I could happily do it all again.

There was so much peace and quite that even when I was Jamin out to music that I still maintained a meditative state. Needless to say I found myself very centered in all aspects and thankfully am still feeling that way. Being the nerd I am I had a schedule of working out and writing daily and I even managed to get more done than I had originally anticipated. I even pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did some new things. Even I was shocked by this as each day usually consists of the same tasks sometimes in a different order, but rarely ever do I feel the need to go out and try new things.

This break from my normal day-to-day showed me that I have been ignoring some of my self care because I had thought I was doing great haha. The biggest difference over the last three weeks was actually only that I removed all expectations of myself and just took it one day at a time. The collaboration I had been working on went great and each piece written for the project was so incredibly well done. In my eyes it was a success not just for the content, but also for the new friends we made in the process.

Even with a few rough days the month of April has further proved that 2017 is going to continue to be a great year for me. I wonder what is in store next.

Cheers,

Addy

Live Limitless

You and the walls you build up in your mind are the only thing holding you back from living to your fullest potential. We all build up these expectations and parameters of how we think the world want to see us instead of completely being you, and we should all stop. If you want to live the fullest most lived life just stop building up these walls, they are not helping you or anyone else for that matter. I myself have to consciously remind myself to stop these trains of thought in the moment as well.

When you are nervous about something and your brain is going through a list of unlikely things that could go wrong if you went out and did said thing, Ignore your thoughts. None of those things are going to happen so go out and do it. Especially if it could bring you joy or excitement because the world could use some more generally happy people focusing on things that bring them joy instead of misery.

Knowing that tomorrow is not promised has often lead to me to ask myself one question each time I feel as if I am in a rut, “Am I living a life that will leave me with memories or regrets that I didn’t do enough?” I happen to want to have a life  full of memories to reflect on so this question gets me to redirect my efforts fairly quickly if need be.

Cheers,

Addy

Life’s Surprises

I promise no matter your lifestyle or beliefs that life will always throw you a curve ball to keep you on your toes and remind you to be thankful of how far you have progressed in your journey whatever that may be. No matter how great things are going there will always be stuff going on that we fight or struggle with, in the end it’s really just how you get through those situations.

Despite doing as well as I am in my own recovery there are still moments where my affected side can throw an unexpected curve ball my way. Yesterday for example I was walking to the store and the muscles in my leg lost all sensation and forgot how to walk properly… thankfully I remember how to hobble my way through those moments. Times like these can be quite deflating, but I’ve learned to just see it as a hiccup in the process and am able to usually just move forward. In the beginning when things like this happened it used to result in a lot of frustration and sometimes even tears, but given that it is out of my control I just take it with a grain of salt.

I know certain situations can feel like they are the end of your world, but as cliché as it is it really does get better. Whether that means waiting out a situation or gaining some perspective it will happen. Just always remember that your life is a product of your actions and that you can make the changes when you don’t like how things are going.

Chheers,

Addy

The Loss Of A Loved One

Losing someone who truly is a big part of your world is one of those things that either breaks you or makes you stronger, but for me it was a mix of both. It broke me for over a year before It made me stronger. There were a few things that definitely helped and hindered the healing process and that’s what today’s post is about.

Things that helped me:

Exercise

 When you lose someone and are grieving I found that the easiest way to stop feeling like crap is to get some exercise. Personally I chose to run because that’s the easiest way for me to get all the positive endorphins flowing, but weights and other forms of physical ctivity help to so do what works best for you.

Meditation

In the darkest of moments we have to be able to hold  on and go to that uninterrupted happy place. For me I go to my favourite place I have travelled to which happens to be a beach on the island of Samso Denmark where I imagine myself laying on the beach drinking a margarita in July with my friends in the sunshine. As I visualize it I can hear the waves crashing into the shoreline and all the birds being vocal and having a riot. Then there’s a row of family and friends just soaking up the sun and reminding each other of all te fun times of the good old days. It’s a peacefully happy place.

Self Care,

Despite any and all of the emotions you are feeling remember to take care of yourself and do what you need to get through the ups and downs of losing someone. For me self-care is usually one of two things: a solo dance party, or spa day. When it comes to a solo dance party I throw on a mix of my favourite feel good songs and albums and dance it out until I feel better. Spa days can be a variety of things from a face mask and some down time to an aroma therapy bath, either way it’s also a great way to pamper oneself into feeling better.

Writing

 One of my most important people I have probably written over twenty letters to her as if I could send them to her and she could read them. Even though I know she will never physically receive them, It is pretty cathartic to write out each thought and emotion at the time. Sometimes after they’re done I read them out loud with tears running down my face like a waterfall as if should was standing over my shoulder listening. Strange, but definitely helpful.

Being Social/ Talking about it, 

Getting out of the house to go be with friends doing anything or nothing and just hanging out was one of the best distractions to get out of my own head in the tougher times of grief. When I say talk about it, I mean when you’re with someone you trust and they ask you how you are doing don’t lie and say you’re fine as you hold back all the emotions. Let you’re friends in on how you aren’t doing great and depending on how the respond  you will get an open ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on if you need it.

Things that hindered:

Alcohol

It doesn’t matter how much it  hurts I promise that no amount of any substance will help in the long run. For the first several months after loosing her I drank often just to stay numb and get through the day and it was the worst thing I could have done. Let yourself feel all the emotions running through your body and just try to deal with them one on one as they come by. Numb is bad even when one feels like they are completely dead inside.

Food

Don’t Eat those Feelings I promise that after you eat them you’ll just be angry with yourself for gaining that weight that you will want to immediately lose. I gained fifteen punds after I lost my most important person solely because I couldn’t go and run off my emotions because it was four months after a stroke. After I realized what I had gained not only was I crying over greif I was crying over my weight gain. Don’t eat the tub of icecream.

 Shutting Everyone Out

Honestly I shut down emotionally for four or five months not letting anyone know that I was completely dead inside behind the smile. Again not a great choice, but It showed me what not to do if nothing else. I shut everyone out to the point where nobody even knew how much her death affected me and that was very unhealthy. When I opened up about it I learned who wasn’t really a friend with each response that went along the lines of, “She’s dead get over it.”

Being A couch potato, 

Also don’t hide from the world because you think you are the only one feeling these kinds of pain. There are a lot of us going through similar things that can show you the empathy and give you that metaphorical shoulder to cry on. Don’t just lay in bed and watch movies that make you more sad and more deppressed because you’re loved ones will always be in your heart and they would want you to live your life to the fullest each day.

Greif can be Really hard, but surviving the last three years of my person being gone has taught me to live life to the fullest knowing that she will always be right there in my heart. A year and a half after her passing I got a memorial tattoo on my  chest as a daily reminder that she will always be in my  heart and that helped me move forward a lot. I’m luckily at a stage where during the sad days I go through all the happpy memories and times we had together and that helps my heart smile. In the end I was very lucky to have the friendship and eternal love we shared even during our disagreements.

I hope that my experiences with greif can help at least one person deal with the loss of their loved one,

Addy

Collaboration With Purpose

Recently I have had the opportunity to work with nine Inspiring bloggers around the world to come up with a compilation of posts where we all talk about a form of loss. Personally mine will talk about the loss of my sister and how I dealt with it both the good and the bad. All of the blog posts will be posted tomorrow the 19th of april, If your interested in reading more of checking out their sites, please click on the links below.

SADAF SIDDIQUI

Ajibola Sunday

Ipuna Black

Barb Caffrey

Altea Addison

Jothish Joseph

Tajwar Fatma

Jane Love

Nicolle K

Cheers,

Addy

Month 39 in recovery

This month in recovery has definitely been one of the most rewarding this year so far.  There’s been enough of an increase in my dexterity that I’ve been able to type with month hands more often than the speedy one-handed typing I’m used to. It has probably helped a lot that I have been house sitting for sixteen days now and have literally no internal or external stressors.

This months entire focus was to wake up each day and do what I need to do to work toward my life and physical goals and it was quite successful. After figuring out what I wanted from my second book I started it and am starting to love it. Then from a physical aspect even though I only saw progress in my affected hand, I feel energized and great for the first time in years. I plan on kicking some more recovery butt next month.

Cheers,

Addy

Milestone 3… I Think

Thank you for reading and following me on random journey through life. Each one of your likes helps me guide my posts and I’m so thankful that all of you are very active followers. Thank you for all the love and support.

If there’s anything you’d like me to write about feel free to leave me a comment or use the form on the contact page.

Addy

Find Your People

Yes we all have friends, but are they your people. By your people I mean the people you know that can hold a conversation on any topic and keep it interesting and going. I would say that less than a handful of my acquaintances and friends are my people. I have not being doing the greatest lately and was feeling a little stagnant so I went out on a whim and went to a drop in writer’s group tonight for the first time. I knew when I walked into the room that they were my people, the vibes were right.

Probably one of the best spent nights I have had In months, We laughed, we joked, we shared and gave each other feed back. If there’s one thing I have learned about finding your people whether it’s physically or metaphorically they welcome you to the group with open arms and just keep you included and value your imput. They are the ones who don’t care where you came from or they just want you there and included. This was pretty awesome because before tonight I had two of my people in the city I live, the rest of them are nine hours or even more away.

From someone who lives like clockwork and rarely changes or does anything out of the normal It was great to switch it up and try something new. More often than not I would rather hang out by myself and be introspective than go and meet new people, but finding more people who are your kind of people will make you feel really great and energized.

Go find your people,

Addy

Happiness: Contributing Factors

If you want to achieve complete happiness one of the things you are going to have to do is care less. By this I mean stop putting so much thought into the things that do not matter. Figuring out what does and does not matter in your life can be a daunting task as well as confusing and timely. When I started the process of cutting out the things that don’t matter it took about a year of continuous revisions before I was free of all the unnecessary crap.

I am not going to lie I found the process difficult myself, but I started off with stopping all the things I was doing to “maintain face”. You know the events and social outings you have no interest or get no value out of, but you are expected to go to by friends or acquaintances. Yeah stop going to those, yeah I don’t care if you get a formal invite or one of those sill Facebook event invites just politely decline if you have no interest in going.

The next big step for me was cutting off contact from the acquaintances and childhood friends I didn’t even like back when I was in grade school.  The ones where you have nothing in common, you’ve always pretended to like, and you honestly don’t care at all when they hit you up to talk about how great their lives are. Not only are they a waste of time, but depending on how you connected in the past encounters with these people can be quite emotionally draining.

For about a year I repeated these two steps up until now where I’m able to live a life of peace, happiness, and mindfulness. I hope your search and attempts to happiness take less time. 🙂

Addy

The Staycation Continues

I’m onto house two for the last eleven days of my three weeks alone and I’ve started taking care of myself again. From relaxing in the dry sauna before my nightly meditations to my first run of the season indoor, It was only three miles this morning, But I feel amazing and I’m really glad I ordered pizza and carbed up the night before.

Normally I would not suggest taking an entire season off but taking January to now off to let my body catch up in my recovery was great, running at a 6 mile an hour pace for half an hour on a treadmill was so easy, so apparently I needed the break. I’m amazed and proud because only once before today had I successfully run without any aid not even sports tape. Spring is here and My body is ready to get back down to 8-10% body fat. First run of the season was a breeze and I can’t wait to go for my evening run which may or may not be outside now that I’m close to trails and side walks.

I hope you are all having a great week,

Addy

We All Need to Heal

Caught up in the  hustle and bustle of daily life it can become easy to forget that everyone is going through their own struggles. Recently I’ve been bothered by running into quite a few people who don’t understand that everyone has their own struggles demonstrated by the phrase, “I don’t understand Why the world is always working against me.” That’s the first place you’re going wrong. Everyone is on their own journey and no one is trying to interfere you just need to learn to focus on your path and start living intentionally.

For Example how do you expect to live a life full of happiness and love when you are busy hating everything and everyone… Just stop. If you want love you need to give love so stop giving hate. Once you realize that you can control all of that just by living out of love and happiness you will start feeling love and happiness coming your way. I have become a firm believer in what you put into the world you get back three-fold from experiencing it personally.  There were years of my life where I was chronically depressed and hateful until I started living from a foundation of eternal love to everyone and thing I encounter.

Every ounce of our lives are a direct result of our values, thoughts and actions, so If you don’t like the way your life is going or the bath you’re on just decide to change it. Don’t go around self loathing or hating others for your decisions, just change your decisions. Make the right changes and surprise life will start playing out how you want it to. instead of just existing and hating your life from your heart as well as purposefully and I promise things will improve.

Cheers,

Addy